I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I adore my husband. One thing I have come to particularly adore are his random moments of severe eccentricity. Allow me to elaborate...

The other evening as I walked into the bedroom, I find him sitting cross-legged on the bed staring at our dog half sleeping in the corner of the room. He then adamantly states, "[Dog], don't try any of that mind control bull [poop] or I will [mess] you up." Then calmly lays down to go to sleep.

This may seem a bit odd to those of you who don't know my husband and frankly it is. But a couple things you should know... A: My husband is not clinically, criminally, or otherwise insane. He's really quite normal and highly intelligent. Just weird (like me) and perhaps a touch paranoid. But I always say better a bit paranoid than oblivious. B: My husband adores this dog. He considers her to be his first child. He and the hound were buddies before he and I started dating. He would never hurt this animal (or any animal for that matter). And C: The dog was sleeping. Maybe mind control works when I dog is sleeping, but I just don't know.

Either way, this is just a sample of the random gems of nonsense that come from my amazing hubby's brain.

Things I Can Do in the Bathtub Besides Bathe

So the husband has "temporarily" disabled the sink. Until it is functional again, I have to use the bathroom sink or bath tub. The first time I needed to do dishes, I tried the sink. I never realized how small that sucker is. So the logical solution...

Activity #1 (that I can do in the bathtub besides bathe): Give the dishes a bath. Not only does it work really well, it amuses the heck out of young children. Beans sat in the bathroom with me the whole time I "gave the dishes a bath."

I will say that I considered putting her in there with them. I asked my sister what she thought about it. After a brief moment of hesitation she came to the same conclusion I did. Though our father used to have us stomp on the laundry in the bathtub when we lived in Egypt (and we loved doing it), dishes are breakable and sharp. If they weren't however, Bean would be bathing with the dishes.

On to my next "discovery." When the husband asked what I was planning for dinner tonight, I realized I'd have to defrost something... in the sink. (I'm aware that this isn't always the safest method of defrosting, but I keep a slow trickle of cool water going to ensure the temperature stays low.) But this inspired my next "discovery."

Activity #2: Defrost meat for dinner. It's the same principal as doing it in the sink, just larger scale. A really big sink if you will.

I'm starting to think of the tub as a really big sink. It's great. I mean, I did bathe the Bean in the kitchen sink when she was an itty bitty. Why not bathe the dishes in the tub? If I make another "discovery" I'll be sure to keep you posted.

I've Got A 50 Pound Bag Of Potatoes

Much has changed in my little world in the past week. I guess you could say that life gave us potatoes.

My little family and I have been planning to move closer to my dad for a while. He's not old or needy, we just think the area he's in offers us more opportunities. Not to mention the school system is far better than the one where we currently live. So we've been planning to finish our work on our house and put it on the market. My husband had (yes, had) a good paying job (albeit physically challenging and stressful) and was making good progress on the house weekend warrior style. That was our course of action. It was working and we were content with it. Life was pretty good.

But someone, I'm not sure whom, once said that life is what happens while you're busy making plans... My husband lost his job a week ago. Here are your potatoes.

We're looking at it all as positively as possible. A blessing in an ugly disguise if you will. Maybe the universe was trying to tell us "hey guys, wrong path. You need to go this way." So new plan. We're giving ourselves two months to finish our repairs and pack it all up and head on to my dad's. We're fortunate that we were as prepared as we are. It's by no means going to be easy, but we're going to give it our best shot. We've got a deep freezer full of food, money for the bills for a couple months, and great family and friends standing behind us.

I don't think I've ever addressed my opinion on what one should do "when life gives you potatoes," but I know what I'd do. I've decided to make vodka and make a toast to what I have and the opportunities the future holds. Cheers!

Happy Birthday Little Bean!

Here's to three years of laughs and giggles and all the wonderful memories you've given us, my little Bean! And here's to many more!

My little tot is three. I can hardly believe it and am, honestly, a bit speechless and overwhelmed. I love her endlessly. What more can I say?

What is Vajazzling?

Well, if you want my opinion... stupid! As an acquaintance of mine said, I can't believe how much time and money women spend down there when I can barely find the time to shower some days!

I've never been on for things frilly, but if you are, kudos to you! I mean it. I just don't have the patience. If I'm doing my make up for a special event I take a whole 15 minutes as opposed to my usual 5. I just don't get it.

So the latest trend is Vajazzling. What is it, you may be asking? Or you may be thinking what I thought - "that sounds like an amalgamation of vagina and BeDazzle." Frighteningly (to me

anyway) it is just that. Woman are now bedazzling their bare vaginas. WHAAT!? Now, I've never even been a fan of the fully bare look. I keep things trimmed, but bare just looks to "young" for me - it's a little creepy. Just a personal preference! Not knocking anyone's hair choice, just saying some are not for me.

But now, jewels!? All I can think is that this looks a lot like the little crystal temporary tattoos that every sorority girl I passed was wearing on her hip a summer ago or so. So that was the idea - hey, let's just move it a little more south! And people pay "professionals" to do this for them!? Seriously, there are women going to salons and paying good money for some one to paste crystals to the nether regions. And don't even ask my opinion on women paying to have all their hair ripped out down there! Yikes!

Okay, I'm done. Just had to share that with my little blog world. If you do this or have done it, I'd love to know what you think and what the heck, any responses you've gotten. All I can imagine is my husband laughing hysterically then grabbing the nearest flash light, taking me to a dark room and the announcing "you're like a disco ball!" Oh so sexy. Seriously, folks.

Well Hello There...

Did you miss me? (In my head I keep hearing that in a John Wayne voice and it's cracking me up. I don't really expect it to do the same for you, unless you like me are caffeine and sleep deprived and watching a cartoon with a toddler about a sheep and his preschool friends.)

I've been away but for good reasons! Why?! Well, let me tell you...

I've been busy with the Bean first off. She's a little pistol. Still balls to the wall, nonstop, go go

go from the second she wakes up until (the 15 minutes after) her head hits the pillow! She's nearing her 3rd birthday and is all toddler!

I've been dancing around construction. My husband is slowly but surely remodeling the kitchen. It's going well, but hard to cook. Been coming up with as many one pot meals as I can with out them getting old or repetitive. It's certainly a challenge.

I've also been working on my new Etsy shop. I'm making toddler tees. I'd provide a link, but I'm going to wait until it's a little more finished for the grand "unveiling."

I've also been working (or speeding up my slow decent into madness, whatever). I'm now a "nanny." I've been helping a friend since she's gone back to work after having her second little boy. So at least three days a week I've been caring for a nearly 5 month old and two toddlers. Funny, I thought the toddlers would entertain each other... only when they're not at each other's throats! Oh and there's the poop... oh the poop. If I've never mentioned, fecal matter is one of the few things that I just, well, can't do. I'm kind of at a loss for how to describe my aversion... maybe that for another post.

We've also take in a new puppy. So our family has grown! We now have another girl doggie. We adopted her at the beginning of July. She'd been neglected and was very hungry - a measly 25 pounds. Nothing was wrong with her (no fleas, no heart worm, good teeth, good skin, great physical condition, just skin bones). But she has a "dark" side we've learned... I've nicknamed her "the Detroyer." The number of materials she can crush with her jaws is ever growing. She's chewed through plastic, wood, drywall, and a few different fabrics to name a few. Wood seems to be a favourite. After we had her spayed (insert Bob Barker saying spay and neuter your pets here) she got a little sick to her stomach and there was wood in her vomit even though she hadn't eaten since midnight the night before! We're happy to have her so you can expect many Destroyer and Bear (that's our original dog) stories to come.

That's the general gist of my life right now. I'll try to keep you posted on any interesting happenings! Until next time, world.

Say Cheese World!

I decided to give Beans a go with my camera. I think I might have a burgeoning photographer.

She shouted, "say cheese clouds" as she snapped this one.

The world through the eyes of a toddler.