Baby Update: No Poop, Good Spirits

Just thought I'd mention that Beans has still not had regular bowel movements. She has a good peanut buttery one yesterday, but nothing today. I must say though, she is in good spirits.

She is currently under my chair examining her daddy's brief case. Previously, she was trying to understand the air vent. Her little hairs blow in the cold air. She seems to prefer cold (except post-bath) than hot. She'll wake up at night if she's hot. But she'll sleep happily if it's icy cold.

I digress. If anyone out there has any baby pooping advice, I'm listening. Until poop, we keep on pushing.

Mug Cake Mistake

I have tried the cake in a mug. I must admit first that I did not follow the directions exactly. I was lacking baking cocoa, so I made some substitutions - I just added some cinnamon and nutmeg for flavour. Yeah, flavour. 

So I pulled this out of the microwave. My husband and I decided that if you added bits of apple to it, they might distract from the rubbery greasiness. That's right, rubbery and greasy. But all in all the actual flavour wasn't that bad. Calling it good might have been a stretch.

And it looked like a sponge. I know there's sponge cake, but this just looked like a sponge. And I didn't pry it out of the mug. I ran a knife around the edge and it came out. Why it looks like it's been in a battle? I don't know.

I do think I will try this again. Maybe following the directions correctly will help. If there is a round two, will there be another picture? Of course!

Until next time... I can't bring myself to say "bon apetite". Sorry.

BearHead Designs

My husband and I have decided to create a company blog. It's iron work, so it should be pretty interesting. I'm must admit I'm writing it, but please check it out anyway. Go here. And you can check out our company's website here. Reading might be good for your health. It hasn't been disproven.

Thank You BP!

I am now writting from home. After chaos and anger, the inability to syphon, and several other failed plots to procure gas, my uncle Odd found some gas. I waited in line staring at my little lit up gas pump on the dash for over 1/2 an hour (which is actually not that bad) and was able to actually fill up! The amazing part of it all is that 5 or 6 cars after me, they started turning people away.

I'm glad to have a tank of gas... which I will cherish and conserve with the utmost discretion until the "gas shortage" is over.

Where's the Gas?

For those of you who do not live in my area, we have almost no gas. Thanks Gustav. Due to hurricane Gustav, the gulf shut down the lines that supply a "special blend" of gas to our area. Earlier this week, state officials and some other officials agreed to let our city gas stations sell "normal gas". That was earlier this week.

THEN WHY AM I STRANDED 20 MILES FROM MY HOME?

 I'm "stranded" at my wonderful uncle's condo north of Mid-Town. There is one station that has gas around the corner. My other uncle just came back from a morning out with his parents and they just informed us that that station is now out. Last night in a effort to get home, I went to 6 stations. Found one with gas, and ques 5 cars deep. You couldn't pull into the lot! Then on the way back another station had recieved a shipment - the same one that just ran out. But they had the same lines and we're waiting in the street.

So here we wait. Trying to figure out how to siphen gas from one of the two vehicles we have here with gas. I'm so tired of this Mad Max bull"poop"! And as Max said here I am trying to put sense to it, when I know there isn't any.

And to top it all off, I'm almost out of baby formula, bottle liners and I have to work this afternoon. Yeah, it sucks. Drive conservatively and don't top off! Share the freaking gas!

Baby Update: New Tooth

First there were two and now... there are three! Yes, little 

Beans has sprouted another razor sharp, pearly white.

Beans and I were sitting in the living room, playing and such. She enjoys this "game" (I'll call it that for lack of a better word) in which she sits on my lap and raise my hands above my head, wiggling my fingers and make ridiculous noises, as I bring my hands down to her face and "beep" her nose. And she smiles and looks up and watches the hands coming down for her nose. But today I noticed that her little swollen gums are less swollen and more sharp. Not to mention that she's been chewing on everything she can get her pudgy little mitts on. And I stick my finger in her mouth and just like with the first two, I feel a sharp little tooth, just a centimetre or so above the skin.

I'm hoping this is why she hasn't slept well in two weeks and maybe, just maybe, we're on our way to more sound sleep. There is the constipation issue still, but she is getting some  rabbit-like poop pellets out. But I'm not going to look a gift horse in the butt.

Cake in a Mug? Of Course!

I came across this recipe on a website I frequent. It was posted as "the most dangerous cake recipe in the world". I haven't tried it yet, but I think this is something I'm going to really enjoy. I really like cake. And mugs.

3 MINUTE MUG CAKE

1 coffee mug (microwave safe)

4 tablespoons flour (all purpose)

4 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons baking cocoa

1 egg

3 tablespoons milk

3 tablespoons oil

splash of vanilla

3 tablespoons chocolate chips and/or nuts (optional)

Add the dry ingredients to the mug and mix well. Then, add the egg and again mix well. Add the milk and oil and yet again, mix well. Add your vanilla and optional chips and/or nuts and one final time, mix well.

Put the mug into the microwave and cook for 3 minutes on high. The cake is supposed to rise over the top of the mug, don't worry. Allow to cool a bit, put on a plate (optional), and consume.

It sounds pretty good. I'm looking forward to trying it. But as I do not have baking cocoa and my laziness and ever soaring gas prices prevent me from going to the store, I'm going to try making a vanilla cake. Maybe add in a little cinnamon. I think this has potential.

I'll let you know how is goes.

Baby Updates

As mentioned I have a child. On occasion, I send out "baby updates" to my family and friends. But now, what better way to do that than with a blog. Let me bring you up to date.

Baby Update: By George, She's Got It

July 30, 2008

I should have written this a week ago, but having a kid and being sleep deprived and all...

So she's crawling. She's pretty good at it. Especially when there's no diaper on her butt. She see something she wants and she's off. She's a little mobile id.

I'm so impressed.

Baby Update: One Tough Cookie

August 06, 2008

I was thinking about this today and just though I'd jot it down... and brag.

The baby and I went to get the last of her 6 month immunizations a week or so ago. And she set a new record for shortest crying time. She was chowing down on some bottle when the nurse stuck her. Her eyes get wide at first. Then when the nurse pushes down the syringe, she starts to wail. But the nurse got a band-aid on her leg and I'd put her over my shoulder to console her, she'd stopped. And not only had she stopped crying. She was giggling at the very nurse who'd stuck her seconds before.

About 7 seconds. She's so hard.

Baby Update: She's Evolving Or Holy Crap

August 11, 2008

The baby just learned to pull up today. First she held on to the side of her playpen and I had my hand on her back to steady her. I was impressed by this alone. But then...

This afternoon, I put her in the crib while I went to the toilet. I could hear her playing with her musical crib toy thingy, everything seemed normal. As I was coming back into her room, I noticed she'd gotten really quiet. I come around the corner and there she is, standing, holding the side of her crib, by herself. And she just looks over at me standing in the doorway with this enormous smile as if she's saying "hey check this out! Pretty neat, huh?"

Holy crap. She's evolving.

Baby Update: Chomp

August 20, 2008

Through screaming and fussing, through fevers and bowel issues, through soft pinky gums, two teeth have arisen.

The baby has teeth. Two. Pearly white. Sharp as razors. She can officially begin biting ankles. Please don't kick the biting baby.

Baby Update: Update

September 13, 2008

So it has occurred to me that I haven't written a single thing about the child in a while. Partly due to the fact she's been keeping me so busy.

She's getting bigger. Huge. She will soon rival Godzilla. Okay, not really. She's cuter and doesn't have sonic-city-destroying-breath. But she is big.

She's pulling up on everything. She'd prefer to stand than sit, and crawl than be held. It's problematic in public, because most of  the ground outside is too rough and/or dirty for her. This irritates her and thusly me.

She's drawn to shoes. If I look away, she crawls full speed ahead to the nearest one and begin to chew. We are working on getting the dog to teach the baby not to do this. We figured it's like smoking. The dog can be her support person.

She's also become disinterested in baby food mush. She only wants crunchy. Or textured for that matter. We've pretty much abandoned the mush and have been giving her tiny cut up pieces of steamed veggies, split beans, and rice. She really enjoys beans, peas, and Cheerios. She really enjoys eating a bowl of Cheerios with her daddy in the morning off the big silvery spoon.

Her favourite toys are the remote controls and cell phones. My cell phone has little teeth marks all over it now. And it's new. It's stylish. I'm considering starting a new trend. For a small fee I will let you give your phone to my child to chew on for several hours, leaving you with the same awesome teeth marks. She nor I are responsible for and calls made to 911 or expensive 900 numbers. It is recommended that you have your phone keypad locked beforehand.

She's still waking up at night at least once to eat. She's really likes food. And she's taking two naps a day which gives me time to clean the house (some) and clean her bottles and what not.

I'm sleep deprived and I'm sure there are so many more things that I should mention (like she has nice fluffy hair and she has her first freckle/mole). But that's it for now. I must go wash bottle and what not. And prepare to go to the store, the post office, and to exchange some shoes.

And we're off!

Baby Update: I Love Free-ish

September 16, 2008

The baby is currently entertaining herself with and empty 6 ounce tin of  smokehouse jalapeno almonds and my belt. The almonds were tasty and cheap and the belt cost less than $3. She's been playing with them for days (on and off of course, but day nonetheless).

She's also entertained by other cheap or existing items. Spoons, whisks, a metal cigar tube (empty and washed excessively), colanders, her own bottles, the dog, socks, her butt wipe container, and cell phones and remotes as mentioned previously.

As usual I'm sure there are other things that I'm not thinking of but she had me up twice for an hour each time last night and I haven't finished my coffee.

I can hardly wait for the "boxes-are-the-coolest-thing-ever" phase.

I have to go now. She's poised to knock the blonde off her head!

So that's it, world. You are now up to date on the tid bits of info I have sent out to family and friends.

I Heart Duct Tape

I love duct tape. It's so nice. I feel that it truly can fix almost anything. I don't understand the fascination with duct tape. I don't want to. I just enjoy enjoying duct tape. And I'm not the only one.

Just google duct tape and see what glorious things come up. DIY tips, fashion, accessories, practical jokes, baby care,... the only thing I don't think I've heard of is eating duct tape. 

I wonder... Wait. No I don't.

Le "Poop"

I have a child. A beautiful little girl. At least I think she's beautiful. People agree. Lip service or not, I appreciate the gesture. I can't be sure because I have said that not-quite-beautiful-children were beautiful. Who want's to piss off a new mother? Some of them are sleep deprived hormonal psychos. And you can't tell which ones they are just by looks. Trust me, I know.

Either way, my child has not "pooped" (yes, that is what parents call it after they can't say shit anymore) well in about a week. Having that said, I never thought that so much of my life would revolve around some one (other than myself) "pooping". She has been pushing out these little rocks that beg to be called turds, but are not "poop". "Poop" is a very special thing.

 

"Poop" has a consitency somewhere between oatmeal and peanut butter. And a smell that would rival anything you've ever stepped in. "Poop" makes a baby happy. "Poop" comes in many colours. There's green, yellow, brown, and even blue. "Poop", though smelling like the ass of a rancid something with a nasty whatever, is a powerful thing.

Thus, the lack of "poop" is also a powerful thing. "Poop" abides by the laws of physics. Everything has an opposite and equal reaction. And the opposite of "poop" is constipation. And is painful to everyone involved. No "poop" for baby. No sleep for mummy. The spiral continues from there. Mum is mean and angry and behaves like an ass to all she encounters thus pissing off everyone she meets. I am beginning to think that wars may have begun because of the lack of "poop". No one should say "the shit hit the fan". They should say "there is not shit to hit the fan". That is much scarier. 

But for now my child is sleeping and I shall soon sleep too. And visions of "poop" will dance in my head. But until "poop" happens, please, be kind. The next time a woman is rude or mean to you, remember her child may not have "pooped" for days. And that is how wars are begun.

Mashed Potatoes

When I was a kid, about 5 or 6 years old, I choked on a chicken bone. I'm not sure how, but I did indeed manage to get a bone down my throat.

  I remember the feeling of not being able to breathe. Wanting nothing more in the world than that one breath. Only wanting to fill my lungs once. Just wanting to suck in one glorious gasp of life giving oxygen. 

Of course, the bone dislodged itself and air gushed into my unobstructed lungs. It was delicious.

 Most children would probably have an aversion to chicken after such an experience. And naturally, I did.  But that moment, after that delicious breath, I decided I wouldn't eat anything I could choke on again. So in addition to my aversion to chicken, I developed an instant aversion to almost all solid foods.

 I decided to eat mashed potatoes. And only mashed potatoes. Soft, mushy, squishy, yielding, mashed potatoes.

At first, my family was accommodating, as children do go through phases. Thus boxes and boxes of Hungry Jack Mashed Potatoes were purchased for my consumption and with the assumption that my bland, freeze-dried potato flake obsession would pass, as they say, like sands through the hour glass. 

But days turned into weeks and as weeks turned into a month, my family became less accommodating and much more frustrated. They became concerned questioning whether or not a child could live on potato alone. I was taken to the doctor. The doctor told them as long as I was eating something, there's nothing to really be concerned about. Nonetheless, I was forced to drink protein and vitamin shakes. And this was before they tasted like chocolate. Think more vanilla chalk.

  What made this most puzzling to my family was the suddenness of this all. I had not told them about choking on the chicken bone. As far as they knew I developed an extreme love of mashed potatoes over night or was perhaps trying to boost Hungry Jack stock.

  After another month or so, I did start eating other foods again. But not for the reasons my family thought. I didn't miss other foods nor did I get over my fear of choking. The "health" shakes weren't even that bad. No, the real reason was my grandfather's belt. Nothing beat the fear of choking like the fear of a large man's large leather belt.

 I never forgave him for that. He never asked for forgiveness. Really there was nothing to forgive. He never hit me, only put the fear of leather in me thus enabling me to put solid foods into my throat again.

 He died a few years ago. He was sick. It wasn't that unexpected, yet still a shock. The first thing I thought of was mashed potatoes. It was all I could think about for days. To this day, I still think of him almost every time I eat mashed potatoes, or make them or see them or when I even think about mashed potatoes. 

 And I miss him.